Hi. I met a girl recently, or she met me, rather, on the net. We are about 3 years apart but she is just the most amazing girl I've ever met...or so she seems to be online. Anyway, for the past 5 weeks we've been inseparable over the computer. Everyday I come home and go online she's waiting there to talk with me, so we do for hours and hours into the next morning. We care about eachother a lot and it's a pretty intense thing we have going right now, in every sense of the words. It's not a sex thing, but from what she's displayed to me online, I do genuinely care for her a lot. I live in Maine and she lives in Vermont, about a 4-hour drive away, making this difficult to carry over into real life.
She said sh wouldn't want to date because of the distance, but if we were closer she would, in a heartbeat. I know she really cares about me too, but what should I do? I know I've already gotten too close to just walk away. I told myself I wouldn't but it just snuck up on me.
Help!
Online Relationships/Dating Over the Net - Good/Bad?
Understand that when you meet someone only you are not really meeting them. I only say this because yes I met someone only, we starting talking online like crazy. She was really apprehensive to meet me after she said flat out that she wanted to go out on a date with me. So we finally met and yeah, to say the least she was really disappointing in real life. When we met she didn't quite look as good as she did in her pictures, and she was totally bland and said maybe 10 words the entire night. Now I am not saying that you shouldn't date her or see her, but understand that you chatting online only equates to about 10% of who that person really is. When you meet someone in the flesh, you get a better sense about who they are. Now I do suggest you get her to come and see you and take her to the old port, assuming you live in Portland, that way you guys can have a fun night out, and if she is not what you are looking for, then no harm no foul, she stays for the night and leaves the next day. Just remember to put more emphasis on who she is when you actually meet her then talking to her on the computer. Hope this helps.
-Ty
Reply:sorry 4 hours distant??? ---- that is nothing as far as a relationship goes --- if you both truly care for each other then the distance is irrelevant --- of course all this depends on how old you are ---- if you are under 20 then it may be a problem ---- if you are both over 20 then you need to make some decisions --- when to move closer the main one ---- meet first to make sure you are both who you say you are ---- best wishes
Reply:Well, this story certainly sounds familiar. My advice to you is to GET OUT NOW. Do not date people over the Internet. This is coming from someone who has been there, done that. I met a man eight years ago. He lives in CA and I am in TN. We've always talked about meeting but for the past two years, I've been quite serious about it. Well guess what...we have yet to meet! I feel pathetic, but so attached to him. It is really hard to let go. I am so attached to him that I have declined dating guys that are HERE in MY AREA so that I could be with this guy over the Internet. And can he hold me and kiss me? No. Can he share a dinner with me? No. Can we go on exciting adventures together? No...only in fantasy. It sucks. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have continued talking with that man. I didn't know I was going to have feelings for him. Anyway, here it is, years later, and we can't meet. He keeps making excuses. And so what if we DID meet? Is he going to move here? I am certainly not moving there. The "relationship" is deadend. So I strongly urge you to get out now. I know this is not what you want to hear, but save yourself a lot of heartache and grief. The time you are wasting chatting with this chick, is precious time you could be meeting real life people who you can actually have something with.
Reply:I met my fiancee online and we experienced the same thing in the beginning of our relationship. We stayed on the computer and on the phone getting to know eachother for hours and hours at a time. We exchanged pics and used the webcam until we finally decided to meet in person. Its one thing to carry on a relationship online but you can't really get to know a person until you meet them in person and spend some time together. The distance between us is a lot...he's in NC and I'm in TX....but we didn't let that stand in our way. You should first meet her in person and see if you want to pursue the relationship. 4 hours isn't bad...you could take turns driving the distance on the weekends if you feel the relationship is worth exploring. I made the decision to move to the state that my fiancee is in because we did the long distance for a long time and we know that we want to be together. Long distance relationships shouldn't be permanent and eventually you're going to have to sit down and discuss weather or not to move forward. Good luck on your decision.
Reply:Are you falling for this girl .. then that could be a problem.... if the distance is bothering you now.. then it could affect you further down the track... i suggest you play it cool and be friends.. if there is a chance you could meet the go from there..but keep everything into propestive and you will stay friends for a long time..............
Reply:why not enjoy it I love talking to my guy friend on the internet and we may never meet but we have those talks on the phone and the emails dont let it go take one day at a time you never know what might happen
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